straightenshisbowtie:

Okay, I’m a person who has dealt with depression for most of my life, and apparently, anxiety. (My therapist told me that one, I’d never actually identified it as anxiety before, that was just who I was.) But I’d say I’m a pretty healthy person- mentally. Even though I have mental illnesses, which do at times severely affect my life, I think I’m doing really fantastically. I’m happy. I’m hopeful.

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Maren is awesome. And super inspiring. And I’m having a hard time remembering all the words that are in my vocabulary. But Maren is ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS. And I’m so grateful for her friendship. :)
So, if you’re feeling depressed, read this. It made me feel better. Hopefully it can make you feel better too.

straightenshisbowtie:

I’ve lost so much weight over the last year that I can pull the waistband of the the shorts I wore last summer two inches away from my hips when I put them on.

I also forget to eat a lot, but then I don’t lose weight. But, I have plenty of weight that I can spare to lose. I would share some with you if that would help, or if that were even possible. :P

woweygal said,

"Can I just say, you talking about this makes you my hero - including our conversation IRL before I went back home, which really helped me out a lot. Just wondering, what's a thought counter? I pray everything is looking up for you, dear. :)"

Thank you for saying that. It means a lot to me.

To answer your question:
The thought counter that I use is this little clicker thing that looks kind of like a pedometer, but I use it to keep track of my thoughts. I got it to keep track of positive thoughts, but then I never clicked at all. :( But then my therapist recommended that I keep track of non-negative thoughts, so now I click a lot more. I use it kind of like a self congratulations. Like a reward for the things that I am able to do instead of lamenting the stuff that I can’t do. For instance, I’ll click if I get out of bed, if I shower, if I eat breakfast, if I leave my apartment, etc. But, I also click when I things make me smile. Like when I see my favorite flowers (tulips), or when someone compliments me (even if I don’t believe it, I try to think that it’s nice that someone else thinks nice things about me even if I don’t think nice things about myself). Every time I get a question on tumblr I give myself a click. Last time I had a suicidal episode and went home for the weekend I was sitting outside with my little brother (currently my favorite sibling, even though I know that it’s bad to have favorites) and he was clicking for me while we talked and we sat there until we hit 150. I usually reset the counter on Monday morning and it was Saturday afternoon, and I was still stuck on zero clicks. At the time, that was a record high. 
Anyway, I try and keep track of how many clicks I get every week so I can chart my progress. Over time it has generally gone up, but sometimes it goes down.  I definitely recommend it, or at least being mindful of what your thoughts are and how they make you feel and stuff. So… yeah. I think that’s it. 

vougehoren:

‘whats shipping’

celestialness said,

"I'm so sorry, I have been so oblivious! I had no idea this was going on and I feel terrible. I love you and miss you!"

Aww. I like you too.

No worries. I haven’t seen you in person in a while, and I tend to not make very many personal posts on tumblr. Also, you don’t practice faking it for as long as I have and not get at least a little good. :P

I hope at least you’re doing well! 

Anonymous said,

"That sounds so much better than the mental hospital that my brother had to go to. The people were very mean and the conditions were terrible. To be honest, I've felt suicidal before, but I've just kept it in because I don't want them to take me there."

I’m sorry the people weren’t nice to your brother. Most of the people that I’ve met have been very friendly. But, it also helps that I’m here voluntarily and am not an immediate danger to myself or others. I’m allowed to have my own clothes, eat in a cafeteria, etc. When I got here, I was in an intensive unit until a bed opened up in the ward I’m currently in. There, I had to wear scrubs, eat on unit, I could use a computer or make calls, and I was supervised almost all the time. I still had my own room, but they would check on us every hour or so. 
If you’re feeling suicidal and have a plan to kill yourself, I would recommend telling someone. That way, you can have someone with you supporting you, or you can get medical help. If you’re taking medication, it’s possible that you’re feeling more suicidal because of that, and if you’re not on any medication then that’s an option. I haven’t found a medication that works, but I only decided to start taking medication more recently. Anti-depressants take a couple weeks to improve your mood, but they can help with sleeping and stuff like that more immediately. The main reason I ended up here is because I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to find something that worked or that I’d be able to be fully functional at some point. Now I feel a lot more optimistic and I started using my thought counter again. Also, last time I had a suicidal episode, I just spent the weekend surround by people and didn’t have to go to a hospital or mental institute. So, don’t do that. Also, (sorry, I just thought of this) my mom was really concerned about me getting the best help that was available (also where my health insurance would cover), so I’m really grateful for her. She did some research on what my options were and what facilities were available before picking the one I’m at. But, it also depends on what is available.

I hope that made sense helped.

schnabelsaurus said,

"So what's the story with the mental hospital?"

I’m in a mental hospital for my depression. I had a suicidal episode last week and then spent most of yesterday in the ER. Now I’m in a unit for people who are de-toxing. Most are recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. I’ve never had problems with substance abuse, but it’s been an interesting experience. Today I got to walk a labyrinth and do scribble drawings. Basically it allows me to get intensive counseling and medication changes. I haven’t been able to find an anti-depressant that works, and in the mean time I’m somewhat unstable. While I’m here I can stay safe. So…. yeah.

So, I learned how to solve a rubik’s cube. I feel like I have unlocked an achievement.

themasterslover:

a-bipolar-bear:

david-tennant-omg:

tunoeresdarks:

i just made some sort natural of mp3 player charger??? using only fruits and copper and and it worked

i mean

look at this fucking thing

IT’S CHARGING

you’re either a complete genius

or

you should be burnt at the stake…

so should i start carrying fruits with me to class so i can charge my ipad?

i swear if we didn’t spent so much time on tumblr we could really change the world forever

sometimelow:

dontcha wish your girlfriend was a socially awkward teenage blogger with an unhealthy obsession with fictional characters like me

dontcha

herondalely:

we-hunt-monsters-not-dinkelberg:

Today in school I was walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and some dude walked out of a classroom and tripped me by accident and I was thinking about Thor 2 so i just like blurted out “HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE SON OF ODIN” and he just looked at me and looked down at his shirt and it was an Avenegrs shirt and I think i made a friend guys.

I SHIP IT